Desire As Reward
G., one of my dearest friends, has brought up in a comment on the previous post a painful fact: rather than desire, many people seem to be characterized by heaviness and lethargy.
Are you one of these? I know I often am.
There is no single solution to coming out of that sorry state (fortunately there are actually many) but the one I’d like to highlight today follows Lewis’s line of thought in the next part of The Weight of Glory.
Within his brilliant discussion of natural versus mercenary rewards (please do read the essay if you haven’t yet, it’s full of gems like that), Lewis shows how the Christian, like a schoolboy learning Greek, is often in the ironical position of not even being able to imagine the natural reward of their efforts! However, if they stick to it, ‘enjoyment creeps in upon the mere drudgery’. If the boy keeps learning and practicing, ‘in so far as he approaches the reward [...] he becomes able to desire it for its own sake; indeed, the power of so desiring it is itself a preliminary reward’.
The only way we can understand what God has in store for us as the natural ‘consummation of our earthly discipleship’ is ‘by continuing to obey and finding the first reward of our obedience in our increasing power to desire the ultimate reward’.
The idea of Glory, which Lewis is exploring in this essay, may feel so vague and distant to us that we fail to be inspired by it. Even as long-time followers of Christ, many of us don’t know what Glory is, and so it doesn’t even occur to us to desire it.
What great news then, to know that simple obedience not only gets me closer to the ultimate prize, but brings with it the bonus of increased desire!
“Appetite comes while eating” says the Romanian proverb & “Taste and see that the Lord is good” says the Bible, and often the solution for my apathy is taking that first bite out of the task before me – and then the next, and the next. Soon, my brain receptors kick into gear and I am well on track.
The way I seek to apply this in practice is: as soon as I’m clear on what needs to be done, I make a start and keep going for a bit, no matter if ‘I feel like it’ or not. Here are just a few instances where I have been rewarded with increased desire: in language learning – just as in Lewis’s example; Bible study (I’ll have more to say about that in due time); decluttering and giving up or using up items that I had been hoarding for a long time; art making.
You may be objecting – hey, but this is mundane type of stuff! With the exception of Bible study, what have those things got to do with discipleship, or ‘Christian life’, which is the actual thing Lewis is talking about? In fact, it was he and his writings that impressed on me the truth that there is no separation between the things we need to do every day and holy living. If you still need convincing about that, just let me know, and I’ll do what I can 😊
Have you experienced this too, this godly appetite that comes while eating? Please tell us.
Unfortunately, I found that the reverse is also true. When I postpone the ‘doing’, the ‘desiring’ decreases rapidly as well. The longer I wait to make a start, the less I want to do so. That’s why, when I get a bit of new clarity or understanding about what God asks of me, I do best to get to work right away. ‘Strike the iron while it’s hot’ – another great proverb to keep in mind in this regard. I missed out a lot by not heeding it in the past, but, after I became more aware about certain traits of my personality, I realized that acting on impulse, when that impulse is good, was something I needed to get better at.
And I have – and I got the reward of not just more progress, but also more desire. I wish the same for you too.
