Freedom from Hoarding Disorder 4: Happiness is found in the process

Note: The articles in this series were originally posted on Better, like others on this website. But unlike the others, which I have slightly edited for this new context, I have decided to leave these just as they were. I’m putting at the top of each the date of original publication. Although they go back a couple of years already, I would still really appreciate your fresh engagement and contributions in the comments!

December 16, 2019

Some days ago I posted about a little happiness stumbling block I had while decluttering, in finding some small things with huge sentimental, but tragic, weight. Thank you again to everyone who wrote and advised me on how to move on! 💕

But guess what: I am at the moment experiencing a huge amount of exhilarating, albeit at times painful, happiness, because the decluttering momentum has recently received an unexpected and extremely forceful boost!!! 😆😄

One morning last week I entered our workroom to a strange drip-drip sound: it was the rain. Dripping. On our (indoor) hardwood windowsill!! 😮

The roof specialist was immediately called in. He took one look at our (1950’s original) slate roof and delivered the verdict: a new roof was needed – ASAP. The slate is as lovely as ever – but the nails that are supposed to keep it in place have corroded, and there is no way back: the roof is “nail sick”.

Joy and celebration, we’re getting a new roof! But – what lived under the old one, in all its 9-year glory? Only most of the hoard that I’ve managed to accumulate since I have moved here to Scotland!! 😆 This recovering hoarder has made amazing progress over the last few years... but now the time has come to take the dragon by its horns and oust it from its lair!!! 🐉😄

So over the past couple of days, with the invaluable help of my brave husband, most of the hoard has left the loft. We took a good bit of stuff to the charity shop on Saturday, but I’ve got my work cut out for the rest of the week: to sort, recycle, donate, and throw out.

As a note in passing, I was writing about this to my family, and my aunt suggested I should just throw everything away without sorting. (Of course I’m not going to do that, a ton of it are perfectly good and reusable things that the charity shops are happy to take on.) 

But what I want to comment on is the fact that that is precisely the WORST suggestion one could give to someone who suffers from hoarding disorder. 

My anxiety went through the roof (ha, ha) just reading that, and I’m at least 3 years into the recovery process!! I can’t imagine how someone who is just starting out would feel.

So if you know anyone who has hoarding disorder and is at the stage where they are ready to have an intervention, either on their own or with help, please, please: do NOT suggest they just throw everything out, understand that they need to sort. 

In order to do that well and actually get rid of stuff, they need help to improve their sorting abilities, so that they won’t fall into the classic hoarder trap of trying to sort into one million categories: for me, KonMari was a great help with that, since her whole approach is based on tackling one big category at a time. The book Buried in Treasures has helped me a lot as well (2014, 2nd edition, by Tolin, Frost and Steketee).

But guess what! 😊 After more than three years of decluttering, my ability to recognize:
1) trash; 2) recyclables that I am ready to actually put in the recycling, 3) things that we no longer need & I'm ready to let go of and 4) things that I still love but have no place in my current life, has gone from strength to strength!! 

Yes, it is still difficult to confront the clutter. It is still frustrating. It can still bring up painful memories. I am often shaking my head in disbelief over items I am uncovering: how on earth could I ever have believed that I needed to keep that, and that, and THAT?!?!? 😶😶😶

But it all just goes to show how sanity has slowly been restored to this poor old brain, and how much more in touch with actual reality I have become. (Not that there isn’t a long way to go yet! 😁)

Right now, sorting through the hoard and disposing of it is for me a celebration. 

Like KonMari says, it is a festival. 

It’s hard, and I’m heartbroken that my husband and daughter have to put up with the unavoidable chaos, just as our house was almost at its best. 

But I think it’s something amazing for our whole family. We are all healing. My daughter is receiving ‘immunisation’ against hoarding. 😊 The buck is stopping with me. Just today she was telling me again how much she loves decluttering.

There is hope, the end of the hoard is in sight. And there is joy and happiness in the process.