Setting the Stage
The previous article was all about the first of the two A’s we always have a choice about: Attention and Attitude. What we habitually choose to pay attention to will grow in our minds, will command our attention more easily and will have more power to set us in motion. If we choose to focus on Love rather than expectations, we will be employing our Freedom to gain even more freedom – from the stumbling blocks that expectations place in our paths, or from the cruel push and pull they can have on some of us.
But if choosing to concentrate our attention on the more excellent things of life is challenging, what can we say about choosing to have a good attitude in the midst of our often confusing and frustrating circumstances?! Oh dear.
Do you, like me, often find it difficult to adopt the best attitude in trying situations?
Keeping good cheer, staying open, curious, kind and generous, being vulnerable, perseverant, bold in the face of risk or injustice, desirous of cooperation and of bringing beauty and goodness into the world, and so on. We know those are good attitudes, for many of us they are even our default ones, and yet… how often we struggle.
What can make it easier for us – even much easier, I would be so bold as to say – is setting the stage for them. And you didn’t think that I’d be talking about setting the stage just in the abstract way the phrase is often used?! 😉
The more substantial the metaphor, the more our imagination is fired up and our desire for action increases.
I’m asking you to imagine an actual, real stage – like the one at the opera house, built for people to walk, talk, sing and dance on. A solid, secure stage is a requirement that’s often taken for granted – but imagine the actors, singers and dancers trying to deliver their production on a rickety, hole-riddled, unsafe stage?! How would the worry of falling through the dilapidated boards affect their ability to create a beautiful and memorable performance?
On the contrary, imagine they are free from every anxiety on such account, and they know that the support staff are faithfully doing their job in maintaining the theatre’s structures in excellent form, and their stage is solid, secure and covered with a state of the art sprung floor and performance surface. Their attention, their energy, their creativity and talent can be freely poured into their art.
We can create a beautiful dance when we are on a solid stage.
In our case, besides being the artist we are also the person responsible for the maintenance. Because nobody else can sleep for me, eat for me, exercise for me, etc etc.
We make it much easier for ourselves to freely exercise our good gifts with a great attitude when we make sure the stage is as solid as possible.
I think everyone knows now what I’m talking about. Here are some of the things that help us build and maintain a secure structure on which to create a beautiful dance of life: eating regularly and enough; having consistent times for going to bed and waking up, with an adequate ‘sleep opportunity’ (that’s 8 to 9 hours, since we need a bit of leeway built in, as most of us can’t fall asleep instantly!); looking after our bodies with exercise and hygiene; keeping up with any necessary treatments or supplements, etc.
Here are some more: making again and again the place where we live into a serene environment, where we can relax, where our cortisol levels are not keeping us in a constant state of alert because of clutter, confusion and overwhelm. Creating spaces and times of quietness where we can take a break from sensory overload, and rest and recharge.
If you are somebody who cares about connecting with God, creating and guarding times when you read the scriptures, pray and talk with fellow believers about what is precious to you.
There’s even more very practical stuff that helps us keep a sound structure for good living with a good attitude. We can eliminate destabilising factors such as engaging in discourse that fosters our anxiety over things which are out of our control and responsibility. We can limit the interactions with people who tend to load us up with illegitimate expectations. We can replace habits that lead to dissatisfaction (ahem, scrolling through social media, ahem) with time spent in nature or in creative pursuits.
Time spent in nature especially helps to recharge us and make it much easier to have a good attitude. I am aware that ‘nature’ can be thin on the ground (pardon the pun) in some places, and going out in search of it can be difficult or – in these times – even restricted, but any green and living thing has an amazing way to bring joy into our hearts, so maybe it’s worth looking up ‘urban gardening’ – it’s amazing how much beauty people can create by bringing plants into the unlikeliest of environments!
Let’s allow ourselves to be curious and interested in nature, in art, in play. This is what opens up the space in our hearts and minds where we can be free and dance!
Please do add in the comments all the things you already do or want to do in order to create and maintain your infrastructure. I hope we can all find here a lot of inspiration and encouragement!
It is so good to know that the effort we invest in our day-to-day self care – which can so easily start to feel like drudgery, and just more obligations, which we resist and resent – can instead feel amazing, liberating and empowering, because it is a necessary investment into a most precious masterpiece: a life lived joyfully and well.
