Telling my brain it’s time to sleep. Part 1

Last week, I finished ‘Beyond Resistance’, a 12-part article series, with a post in which I shared some of my most practical ideas for getting out of the comfort puddle and into action, so I thought I’d continue on the practical track! (I do a bit of chatter first, though – to skip it, scroll down to where you see bold letters.)

In the past, besides run-of-the-mill Rebel resistance, one of the big things that often used to keep me a prisoner of the puddle was my lack of energy. In addition to a natural instinct to resist expectations, my personality contains a big helping of laziness, so the absence of spunk is probably psychological in a large measure. Even so, a physical lack of energy has been an inescapable reality of my life ever since I can remember. I am one of those people who feel tired as soon as they open their eyes in the morning. Recently I’ve been able to keep up with things better by just going for whatever task I had lined up, without stopping to consider whether I had the energy for it or not – just as I was talking about in the previous article.

Still, the need for adequate sleep remains, and the truth is that for the longest time I hadn’t been careful enough with this staple of life. In fact, I was often actively fighting it. Even not so long ago, after surviving five years of completely broken sleep through the (amazing but exhausting) life-stages of being pregnant, giving birth, breastfeeding my daughter on demand for more than 3 years, and being there for her as she learned to sleep on her own, I still habitually chose to stay up for far longer than was healthy, because I was so desperate to have some time to myself – when the family was asleep and finally nobody wanted anything from me anymore.

I am so thankful that, in the meantime, I’ve made quite a change for the better. 

Like many other people, a couple of years back I read Matthew Walker’s book ‘Why We Sleep’. Recently I came across this article by Alexey Guzey, that basically demolishes (him and) his book 😆 – and even notes cases of people for whom reading it had a bad effect, leading to anxiety over their sleep... and insomnia! However, even though the book might have been riddled with factual errors and grossly exaggerated the perils of shorter sleep, it sure did the trick for me. After having a look at that article, I cannot in good conscience recommend Walker’s work anymore, but the truth remains that it did help me. Thankfully, it did not make me anxious over losing sleep, but it did prompt me to take sleep seriously, take action and make sure I did what I could to get enough rest. For me, the takeaway phrase was: ‘sleep opportunity’. The idea I retained from the book was not to stress over how much sleep I’m getting, but rather just do my best to create a sufficient sleep opportunity. I used to put my head on the pillow at 2 or 3 a.m. or later, knowing that I had to be up at 8 or before, and that it took me at least half an hour to actually fall asleep. And then the next day I would be horribly irritable and drag myself around. (You’d think experiencing this sort of natural consequence for my poor choices would have been enough for me to make a change, but no – I needed to hear Walker’s skewed figures first! 🤣)

As I mentioned in the previous post, my biological clock has a delayed sleep phase – there is no way to change that propensity, which seems to be genetic and also to be associated with susceptibility to depression. One of the ways to manage it seems to be making sure that the sleep opportunity is sufficient and stays in place at exactly the same times every night.

So, what have I been doing to send my brain the message that it’s time to sleep?

First of all, I lower the light levels throughout the house in the evening: I switch off all bright overhead lights (the bathroom is the only room which doesn’t yet have an alternative, but maybe we can change that in the future). We only use lamps with soft, warm light. My SAD lamp has several settings for warmth and intensity, and it’s been great to use it for both bright light in the morning and soft & warm in the evening. 

(While I’m still on the subject of lighting, let me take a moment and decry and denounce all horrid fluorescent and economy bulbs. May they go the way of asbestos linings and lead paints. My gratitude for warm LED’s knows no bounds.)

I rarely use the computer in the evening, but it has f.lux installed – and if you, my reader, have not yet got it too, please pause right now and get it! It is free and the absolute best, and if you need to be on the computer in the afternoon or evening, you need it.

Next thing I’ve been working on: creating a restful sleep environment.

Decluttering the bedroom was a huge deal for me. As you can read in this series, I am someone who has recovered from hoarding disorder. There was a lot of clutter in the house (even though the main hoard was actually out of sight, in the attic). The bedroom was one of the worst areas for stacks of stuff on the floor and on all available surfaces. (Thank goodness, the bed always only ever had the pillows, sheets and covers on it.) I worked hard again and again to free the surfaces and it had an amazing impact on wanting to go to bed and being able to relax and go to sleep easily.

A massive difference happened when we redecorated the bedroom and got rid of half the furniture!! 💗 We got rid of the accent wallpaper and my dear husband painted the walls a lovely deep dark blue (Stiffkey Blue from Farrow and Ball). That’s made a great difference too.

A bedroom with a lot of clear surfaces (including the walls) helps my brain feel calm and relaxed when I’m there! Clutter keeps our cortisol levels elevated, and high cortisol is not sleep inducing.

Making the room sufficiently dark and quiet is extremely important, too, as is the temperature (the expert advice is to keep it on the cool side). I cannot go to sleep if I feel cold (yay for hot water bottles!) but if it’s too warm it’s not good either.

Blackout blinds or curtains, especially in the city, I think are de rigueur.

In addition to making the lighting as soft and low as possible before bedtime, I also make sure there are no little lights from plugs or appliances staying on through the night.

For added quietness, textiles can help a lot. We live in a fairly quiet area so haven’t had a lot of need for this, but having thick curtains and placing soft stuff on floors and walls can make a great difference. I noticed that Ikea do some felt acoustic panels; they are called Oddlaug.

To help me fall asleep and stay asleep, I have been using ear plugs for more than 12 years and they have been life-changing.

Using the sense of smell has helped me too. Choosing some calming essential oils and only using them at bedtime forms that strong association with sleep. Some brains need more cues than others, so I’m throwing at it everything I can! 😊

By the way, all the links to products in this or any future articles are there for your convenience only, they are not affiliate links. In this age of monetized everything, it’s maybe good to spell it out 😄 – not that I’ve got anything against that at all, I’ll let you know if at any time I decide to adopt that practice – but for now the coast is clear.

There’s a part 2 (maybe even 3) coming up, but for now I’d love to hear from you: how does your environment promote or impede your sleep?